Why I hate (envy) musicians

I’m kind of in awe of them but they suck in a way like nerds and geeks. When they’re good they know it and they rub it in your face. But hey, I watched Robert Plant and Bryan Ferry at Glastonbury this year and their backing bands were so awesome. It just seems so effortless how they pull emotions out of you and how they remember all the moves in time and in place. I watched a Pink Floyd concert and almost burst into tears when the backing singers started because their voices were so superb.

But I remember talking to a guy in a bar once who had played keyboards (under the stage, back up type of thing) on a Rolling Stones tour, and he was so blasé about it I wanted to pour my lager on his head (takes a lot for me to waste lager) because playing keyboards was like nothing to him and yes I guess I was envious so my bad …

And so, like nerds and geeks, I am glad musicians are there but I don’t want to talk to them. They are having too good and too magical a trip through this life and it’s not fair! (where’s my comfort blanket?).

A Thinking Politician?

A Conservative politician (a woman) whom I usually hate (maybe ‘dislike intensely’ is better) actually spoke out in favour of leaving the health service untouched. I was amazed. Far from advocating increased privatisation she advocated leaving the institution alone except for the provision of extra funding where required. I never thought I would agree with the woman but I do. At last my faith in politicians is somewhat restored. May her voice be heard and those awful right-wing ghouls be roundly defeated in their avaricious desire to profit from the sick.

Tanglewood: My top rated computer games

A few games stand out in my computer gaming journey. These games stand out for their story-lines and their graphics. I will mention them here in my own Waste of Time Hall of Fame (waste of time because I spent years playing them and now I am poor).

Tanglewood – early 90s played on a friend’s commodore or something, little mobile collector machines with disabling enemies, you had to get the deeds to the planet’s mine. I only finished it a couple of years ago. It was such a glorious relief.

 

Myth the Fallen Lords – a classic, a fantastic voice over, beautiful cello music, peerless plot line, awesome deaths with grief and great great loneliness.

 

 

 

Close Combat series – I lost months on the Eastern Front. I will never forget the wind howling across the frozen steppes. I lost men and tanks and morale, and almost lost my mind.

 

Severance Blade of Darkness – again a fantastic voice over, beautiful graphics, truly violent game play with bits of bodies flying everywhere: tremendous fear.

 

 

Dun Darach – late 80s round and round a squalid town. I never solved it until I few years ago when I found the solution. Impossible. But I enjoyed going round and round the squalid town.

 

Marathon – Doom for the Mac. Brilliantly scary. I played it in Santa Monica. I had no idea what the game was for a weeks, I kept dying, maybe I was mad. Extremely difficult levels and my first space game

 

Do I regret any of the time spent on these games? Not at all. I missed marriage and kids, I missed a glittering career, but I enjoyed my senses, explored them to the full. And isn’t that what life is all about?

Religion to the non believer

Who needs it? Many religious texts were generated by isolated nutters who may actually have had sound political reservations about society but who chose to express those reservations through spiritual/magical visionary allegories. I respect your right to follow a religion but you have absolutely no right to impose it on me.

I will not go into a desert to throw stones, I will not chew symbolic bread, I will work on Saturday if I want, I will eat pork, I will eat meat on Friday, I will use contraceptives, I will support abortion where necessary, gays have all the rights I enjoy, I do not believe in hell used as a tool to keep me in line: neo-liberalism is already our hell on earth.

So – keep your God to yourself. As the great Berserk in Myth the Fallen Lords said to the villagers who sought solace on the hill:

Berserk: “You fools! Where do you think you’re going?”
Stupid Villager: “We’re going to the shrine to pray for help!”
Berserk: “Then you waste your time, the gods aren’t listening.”

And that is it, in a computer game – “the gods aren’t listening …” They never did and they never will because they do not exist.

Evolution: What’s the point?

What is the point of evolution? An animal gets stronger and bigger and so does its predator. A plant grows faster and in comes a bigger locust and a more potent fungus. Dinosaurs were huge but they died out. The cheetah is fast but it will never fly a plane. The only evolution that makes any sense at the moment is human. But what is the best we can do? Find the edge of the universe and then go mad? There can be no edge to the universe.

So there is no point to evolution at all unless you believe in hell because the only reason things become bigger and better is so that they can become a better meal. Bosch had it right. We are the rejects stranded in the middle of nowhere at the whim of a sadist. One day we will become extinct, or perhaps we will manage to ‘escape’ to some ‘brilliant’ destiny designed, once again, by the sadist.

For me I would like to evolve into a spirit floating around the universe, disease-free and having lots of fun forever.